What is communication?
Communication is like a double-acting
hinge, swinging
outward to release your own ideas and swinging inward to receive the
worthy thoughts of others. – Stacey Huish
According to the website AskDefine:
Communication is the the process of transferring information
from a sender to a receiver with the use of a medium in which the
communicated information is understood by both sender and receiver. It
is a process that allows organisms to exchange information by several
methods.
In its simplest form communication is the use of words
to describe and convey a message or give information to another person.
We communicate using language as a code to
share information, ideas and feelings.
The following diagram was developed by Claude Shannon and Warren Weaver (1949
The mathematical theory of communication) to explain how communication works:
When one person sends a message to another, as the diagram
shows, the person sending the message (represented as the circle on the
left) has to
encode their thoughts and feelings. They have to
find some words or actions that will be a code for their meaning. The
person receiving the message (represented as the circle on the right)
can’t read the
sender’s mind; they have to
decode the words or actions to understand what the sender meant.
There are two main types of communication, verbal and non-verbal, which we will look at in more detail below:
Verbal communication
Verbal communication
occurs when a person puts across their message by speaking. The person
sending the message is expected to be able to convey a message which
clearly expresses all of their feelings, needs, wants, dreams, hopes,
messages, values, beliefs and thoughts using the English language that
we have available to us. The receiver has to be able to listen to the
information, understand all that that was communicated to them, and, if
need be, act upon any part of the message.
If the
receiver
misunderstands the message, the sender can get upset and feel like they
are not being listened to. This can cause friction, tension, conflict,
even anger. To avoid misunderstandings, the receiver of the message
needs to be skilled enough to know how to understand the sender of the
message. This is when reflective listening can be of great assistance.
What can also make a huge difference are the tonal qualities of your
voice.
The tone, pitch, volume, timbre and speed of your voice has a
significant impact on how the message you are trying to get across to
someone is actually received by them.
Non-verbal communication
Did you know only one third of a message that is sent
in a person-to-person exchange is in words alone, the other two thirds
of the message is made up of non-verbal communication? Therefore,
non-verbal communication is very important.
There are different types of non-verbal communication which include but are not restricted to:
• Body language
• Physical characteristics and appearance
•
Personal space
• Environment
Body language
Body language is the way that we communicate most, if
not all, our non-verbal communication. One of the main parts of our body
used for non-verbal communication is our face which is very expressive
and can communicate many different emotions without the use of words
(eg. happiness, sadness, anger, shock). Other parts of the body, such as
our arms, legs, hands, fingers, can also be used to communicate (e.g.
hugging, pointing, giving directions). Sometimes it is how we choose to
use our body that lets others know how we are feeling. For example, if
we hit, kick, punch, or pinch someone then we are definitely conveying a
very strong message to that person. Our non-verbal communication can
either encourage or discourage open channels of communication.
Physical appearance
The unfortunate reality is that a lot of people judge
us by our physical appearance. Our body shape and size, hair, clothing,
hygiene, how we hold ourself and our persona all communicate something
about us. These factors will all influence how people communicate with
us. Think about it for a moment - how might you talk to someone who is
homeless and living on the streets in ragged clothes? Compare that with
how you might talk to someone who wears a business suit and drives a
Porsche? How do you talk to your friends, those people who are very
similar to you, and you hang out with a lot? Our physical appearance
really does communicate a lot about us and can influence how others
communicate with us.
Personal space
Personal space refers to the distance that you put
between yourself and another person when you are talking to them..
Generally one of two messages are being sent, either ‘I want you to be
close to me’ or ‘I want you to keep your distance.’ There are four
settings where personal space can influence the communication that can
take place.
• public - distance in a public meeting.
• social - distance when speaking to strangers including work colleagues.
• personal - distance when speaking to someone of equal status.
• intimate - distance when allowing personal contact and closeness.
Environment
Here I am referring to the spaces we live, learn or
work in or use on a daily basis for sport or other activities. The
environment can really affect the way communication is taken or
understood. The way a room is organised, the colour, temperature,
ventilation and smells all affect communication. The environment can
have both a positive and negative effect on you.
Think about your home for a moment. Does it make you
feel good or bad? It is neat, tidy and clean or full of empty cans and
pizza boxes? What about your work space? How do you feel when you enter
the building and sit at your desk? Imagine if you walked into work one
day and found rubbish all over the floor, how would you feel about your
work environment then?
At any of these stages, misunderstandings can occur.
These can easily lead to hurt, anger or confusion. If our feelings don't
fit with the words, it tends to be the non-verbal communication that
gets heard and believed. Try saying ‘I love you’ to your partner in a
flat, bored tone of voice without looking at him or her, and see what
reaction you get! The good news is that with a little knowhow, these
misunderstandings can be easily corrected.
The message you send is not necessarily the one the
other person will receive and respond to. There are three ways we can
guard against this sort of distortion. If you are sending a message:
1. Be aware of what you want to say. Especially be aware of what you are feeling about your partner or the situation.
2. Use I messages. That is, say what you want or feel, rather
than make a statement about your partner. That way, your partner is more
likely to listen to you without feeling attacked.
3. Use reflective listening to clarify any misunderstandings, and
to check to see if you have the correct meaning of the other person’s
message that they are trying to send to you.